


Toying With You

by AmberNotes (orphan_account), mollieblack



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Collaboration, Exhibitionism, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, In Public, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Overstimulation, Phanfiction, Reality, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Teasing, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 14:28:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12322818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/AmberNotes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollieblack/pseuds/mollieblack
Summary: Dan thought it’d be a fun idea . . . Something to spice up the dreary routine of life. This is what led him to the remote controlled vibrator, figuring it could add a bit of excitement to his day. One problem. Dan drops the remote. And Phil has no idea what the small plastic oval he finds on the train is, but he likes clicking the button and turning the dials.(Collab fic)





	Toying With You

**Author's Note:**

> A collab between AmberNotes and mollieblack
> 
> Dan - AmberNotes  
> Phil - mollieblack

  
  
  


Dan knows it's a bad idea. It's ridiculous, he could get caught, and it's probably unsanitary, too. Curiosity and desperation soon overthrow the rational side of his brain, though. Exhibition has always been one of his kinks, and the idea of finally acting on it makes his heart pound in excitement. Dan finds himself hurriedly scissoring his fingers inside of himself before slipping a black vibrator in without giving himself time to adjust. The stretch burns slightly, and Dan curses himself for leaving everything to the last minute, but the full feeling makes his body warm with satisfaction. Not a moment later the tall brunette is grabbing his phone, wallet, and a small remote before rushing out of his bedroom to meet Phil. The vibrator shifts inside of him, making it difficult to walk in a straight line, but it's not a particularly unpleasant feeling. Putting on his best attempt at a nonchalant expression, Dan strides up to Phil, shoving the remote in his hands into the pocket of his jeans before his friend can notice it.

 

Phil is tapping his foot impatiently until he finally sees Dan emerge from his room. “Took you long enough, what were you doing in there?” Phil asks incredulously. It’s not like they have any time crunch for going grocery shopping, but when they say they’re going to leave at one and it gets to one thirty, Phil gets impatient. Now that Dan’s here, Phil’s bounding to go and he practically jogs to the door, opening it and holding it for the brunette to make his way through. “Now if we hurry, we can catch the 1:38 tube, but we’ll have to go fast, otherwise we’ve gotta wait until two!” Phil urges, impatient as Dan doesn’t seem to be walking nearly as quickly as he could. 

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Dan huffs, feigning annoyance as he scrambles to hide his embarrassment. Phil's eyes are round, yellow-green flickering in the otherwise blue depths, and the other man looks genuinely worried. His pale pink lower lip is caught between his teeth, and he gnaws on it anxiously as he urges Dan to walk faster. The younger man tears his eyes away from his best friend’s full lips, doing his best to pick up his pace. Although he'd never admit it out loud, guilt is making his stomach churn, and he swallows back his complaints as he follows Phil.

 

Phil continues to urge Dan to go faster, encouraging his friend as he shuffles ahead and then ushers Dan to continue. Eventually he notices that Dan’s waddling a bit, and his eyebrows come together in concern. “Hey Dan… are you alright?” he asks, coming to a stop and lightly grabbing Dan’s upper arm to get his friend’s attention. “Are you hurt? Sorry if you’re not feeling good we can slow down. We can always catch the next train, it’s not a problem.” Phil assures him, running his hand down Dan’s arm in an effort to comfort his potentially injured friend before pulling his hand back. 

 

Dan flinches as Phil reaches out, jumping as the blue eyed man’s long fingers brush across his arm. For some reason, he can't shake the idea that Phil might be able to tell exactly what's wrong if he touches him, despite how ridiculous the thought is. Leaning away from his friend, Dan shakes his head quickly, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “No, I'm fine. Let's just catch this train, okay? I don't want to have to wait for the next one.” The words come out rougher than he intended them to, and Dan regrets them the moment he sees Phil's face fall, but it’s too late to take them back, and Dan’s too proud to apologize.

 

“Oh… yeah, okay. Just don’t hurt yourself, alright?” Phil requests carefully, beginning to walk again, but this time not rushing. “I don’t need an injured, whiny Dan on my hands.” he says with a chuckle, trying to get a laugh out of Dan. When his friend remains stone-faced, Phil looks back to the ground, watching his feet intently in embarrassment. As they near the station he checks his phone, seeing that they’re definitely late, but he decides not to say anything. Dan doesn’t seem in a good mood, and when Dan’s bad moods get turned towards him he feels like he’s being scolded by his mother. It’s terrifying, so Phil avoids his gaze and simply sits down on an empty bench when they reach the station, the whole stop empty since everyone must have gotten on the one that left two minutes ago.

 

Dan swears when he notices that they must've missed the last train, taking a seat next to Phil but leaving a slightly too-large space between them. The feeling of the vibrator dragging against his walls coupled with the people beginning to enter the station and the idea of having to sit still for longer than he anticipated is making him antsy. He can feel his patience already beginning to wear thin, and he knows that Phil doesn't have anything to do with it, but he needs  _ something  _ to blame his feelings on. Still, he doesn't want to snap at the other man without an explanation, doesn't want to see Phil’s hurt expression and watch as his cerulean eyes glisten with unshed tears. Instead, Dan sighs, running a hand through his hair. He squeezes his eyes shut, taking a deep breath as he gathers his thoughts, trying to piece his good mood back together.

 

Phil stands as he sees the train approach, reaching out a hand to help Dan up. Usually he’d just let his friend stand, but Dan seems annoyed and Phil’s still not convinced that the brunette isn’t injured somehow, so he helps his friend to his feet and into the tube, plopping down into a seat and leaning back, happy to finally be on the way. People pile in and soon it’s packed, and Phil’s leaning into Dan to avoid having an elderly asian man’s ass in his face as the old man seems intent on doing his morning stretches in the tube amongst all the people huddled together. He whispers a small, “Sorry.” to Dan, still not knowing why his friend seems so annoyed, but wanting to apologize for invading his space as he tries to keep his personal bubble from the rest of the strangers as the train takes off.

 

“It's fine.” Dan mutters, voice still unhappy. Despite his sour tone, he finds himself pressing up against Phil to avoid the scowling woman who chose to sat next to him, her heavy perfume making him dizzy. When the train hits a more steep turn, the vibrator shifts inside of him, just barely grazing his prostate. Sucking in a surprised breath, Dan goes rigid, silently thanking the universe that he hasn't tried turning the vibrator on yet. 

 

Phil smiles softly as Dan leans against him, happy that his friend isn’t annoyed enough with him to choose the smelly perfume lady over him. Their shoulders are pressed firmly together, the contact continuing all down their sides, so when Dan goes stiff, Phil looks over in concern. “Hey, are you okay?” he asks, worried as he sees Dan rigid, eyes wide. In an attempt at a joke Phil lifts his finger underneath Dan’s nose as if he’s testing to see if his friend is breathing, but his concern is only heightened when he realizes that he’s not. “Dan. Dan, are you okay?” Phil asks, now getting legitimately concerned for his friend, wondering if he’s having a panic attack from being surrounded by so many people. 

 

Forcing himself to relax, Dan nods. Except for his cheeks, flushed a faint red color, his face has gone pale, and he refuses to meet Phil's concerned gaze. “Yeah, I'm okay.” He promises, putting as much conviction into the words as he can, but they still end up sounding hollow.  _ Was this really a good idea?  _ Doubt is beginning to make his stomach churn, but Dan forces the feeling down, reminding himself of what's to come. Everything will work out. No one will notice what he's doing, and he'll have fun being able to control everything he's experiencing. That thought in mind, Dan lets his shoulders drop, leaning back in his seat. “I'm okay.” He repeats, smiling when his voice comes out stronger, more certain. 

 

“Alright.” Phil agrees cautiously, settling back into his seat. They ride for a few more minutes without talking, and Phil is able to relax when Dan relaxes more next to him, the tension leaving the air. Soon they’re approaching their stop and Phil taps Dan’s shoulder. “This next one’s ours.” he warns hurriedly, standing up and making his way to position himself by the door. There’s probably still two or three minutes, but Phil gets nervous about time, and if he’s not right there when the train comes to a stop he’s afraid it’ll close the doors and leave before he has a chance to get off.

 

Dan nods, standing up and following Phil as best he can, squeezing past various strangers in an effort to keep the other man in sight. The vibrator shifts once more as he gets to his feet, and he holds his breath, but it doesn't touch his prostate, and he finds himself letting out a sigh of mixed relief and disappointment. After a few minutes, the train comes to a slow stop, and he hurries out of the cramped space as soon as the doors slide open. Dan feels better the moment he's off of the train, grateful that there are no longer any stranger pressing into him. His relief disappears the moment he pats the pockets of his jeans, though. A frown pulling at the corners of his mouth, Dan checks his pockets again, worry beginning to bubble up in his chest.  _ Where is it? _

 

Phil frowns as he hears something clatter to the metal floor of the train as Dan pushes past him and off onto the platform. He looks down and sees a little plastic oval. Frowning, he leans down and picks it up, shoving it in his pocket quickly as an old lady yells at him for holding up the crowd. He scurries off the train and to Dan, shaken by the fear the old lady’s voice had struck into his heart. “Dan?” he asks when they get above ground, looking around the street. The grocery store’s just a few blocks away, but Phil’s stressed and suddenly his stomach is rumbling. “Could we maybe get some lunch before we go to the store?” When Dan looks back at him, clearly about to argue, Phil pouts out his lower lip and bats his eyelashes, pleading with Dan.

 

Resisting the urge to groan in annoyance and roll his eyes like a child, Dan gives Phil an irritated look. Still, he's getting quite hungry himself, and after a moment he gives in to the blue eyed man’s request. “Where do you want to go?” The brunette questions, automatically reaching forward and tugging Phil backwards when the older man nearly steps off of the pavement and into a road. Shaking his head in exasperation, Dan pulls out his phone, already working on Googling nearby restaurants before Phil can answer his question. His patience is rapidly disappearing, and Dan shoots a frustrated glare at the screen of his phone as it struggles to load.

 

“I dunno.” Phil says with a shrug, smiling at how easy it was to convince Dan to go with him. As he waits for his friend to find something on his phone, Phil begins to walk a bit away, looking down the block for restaurants. Absentmindedly, he shoves a hand into his pocket and begins playing with the strange oval piece of plastic he picked up on the tube, clicking a button on and off as he walks. It’s nice, almost like one of those anxiety balls, and Phil finds himself bopping his head to a rhythm as he clicks the button on and off, scanning for a place to eat.

 

Dan yelps as he feels the vibrator buzz to life inside of him, nearly dropping his phone. Mocha eyes wide, he balls the fabric of his shirt up in his fists, knuckles going white as he tries to calm his body down. The vibrations stop without warning, and Dan lets himself relax for a heartbeat before they start up again. This repeats several times, the tall brunette gasping and biting at his lower lip to keep quiet, and then clenching around a suddenly still object. Shuddering, Dan makes his way over to Phil as soon as he trusts himself to walk normally. “Can you see any restaurants?” His voice comes out slightly strained, too high pitched, and he swallows, mouth suddenly dry. “I, um- My phone’s refusing to work.” Dan explains, doing his best to mold his expression into something more neutral. 

 

“There’s a pizza place down this way, and a sandwich shop. Down the other street there’s sushi, a diner, and a Chinese place.” Phil observes, finding a dial on the object in his pocket and beginning to play with it, clicking it down and then up. He finds another dial and begins messing with both of them, running his thumb along both in a long line as he talks to Dan. “Does any of that sound good? I can look for something too.” he offers, taking his fingers off of the object and pulling out his phone, opening it to google maps. 

 

Dan makes a strangled noise as he feels the vibrations begin to rise and fall in intensity, switching to a pulsing setting. He coughs in a weak attempt to hide the sound he makes, suppressing a sigh of relief as he feels the vibrator go still once more. “Um,” Dan fumbles for an answer, mind spinning as he tries to recall what Phil asked him, “A diner sounds fine. Lead the way.” Dan can still hear his heart pounding in his ears as he follows Phil to the diner, praying that the other man won't question his flustered appearance. 

 

“Are you alright?” Phil asks after Dan clenches his jaw and lets out a little noise, once again making Phil think that he might be in some sort of pain. When Dan shakes his head in dismissal Phil sighs and nods, shoving his phone back in his pocket and beginning to walk towards the diner, clicking his button on and off again. It’s helping distract him from his worry about Dan so he’s grateful for the little object, clicking buttons and turning dials to keep himself relaxed. He finds that one of the dials spins more easily than the other, while the second dial seems to just click two or three times before you have to spin it the other way. Phil is mindlessly fascinated by this as he leads them both into an old fifty’s style diner. No one else is there, but Phil’s happy for that as he takes them back to a corner booth away from the main area of the restaurant, picking up a menu and beginning to read.

 

Dan wants to scream in frustration by the time they sit down at a quiet booth, reaching up and tugging at his curly brown locks of hair in a feeble effort to distract himself from the object now buzzing at full force inside of him. To make matters worse, the vibrator moves when Dan sits down, now pulsing up against the edge of his prostate. This time, he can't stifle the choked sound that tumbles out of his mouth. He's vaguely aware that Phil asked him a question, and he should answer, but Dan’s mind has gone blank. His hips are shifting anxiously, beginning to search for friction, and Dan fights to keep himself still. He's squirming around in his seat, trying to subtly shift the vibrator away from his prostate, but from the looks Phil's giving him he's not being as discreet as he wants to be.

 

“Honestly, Dan, are you feeling alright?” Phil asks worriedly, noticing that sweat is beginning to bead on his friend’s forehead as a whimper escapes his throat. “Is there something you need? Anything I can do?” he asks. When Dan doesn’t respond, Phil frowns and goes to the counter, asking for a glass of ice water. He returns and hands it to Dan. “I’ve gotta use the bathroom… I’ll be right back, alright? If you need anything just let me know.” Phil walks away, a worried glance sent back over his shoulder towards his friend before he closes himself in the bathroom. As he takes care of his business he pulls the plastic oval out of his pocket and actually gets a good look at it for the first time. He frowns as he looks over it, shifting the dials and then clicking the button. Inspecting it closely, he feels like he recognizes what this is, but he can’t place it. Finally it clicks in his mind, and his eyes go wide, all the pieces falling into place. Stifling a giggle with absolutely no clue why Dan would decide to do such a ridiculous and dangerous thing, Phil looks closely and can see a little light indicating that it’s off currently. He familiarizes himself enough with the device to know how to use it without looking, and washes his hands, returning to their booth, a plan in mind for how to show Dan how dangerous his little idea was.

 

“Fucking hell.” Dan breathes out, taking a gulp of his water, suddenly grateful for the cold drink. He drops his head into his hands, squeezing his eyes shut. The vibrations have stopped for now, and Dan takes a moment to regain his composure.  _ Someone else has the remote.  _ His chest clenches as he finally accepts the realization that he's no longer in control. Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Dan glances up at Phil as the other man appears, waiting for him to take a seat before speaking up, “I'm okay, really. Just feeling a bit . . . Off, today. Nothing serious.” 

 

“I’m sorry about that.” Phil apologizes, taking his menu and deciding on a burger before putting the menu back down and looking across at Dan, smiling. “So what’s new with you, Dan?” Phil asks, putting on his signature innocent smile. “I mean… I know what you’ve been up to, but we haven’t really checked in in a while. How have you been? Any new pressing existential crises I should know about?” Phil grins as he rests his chin on his hand, smiling up at his friend as he moves the other hand to his pocket, making sure it’s set to a low pulse and hovering above the button, ready to turn it on at any moment.

 

“Not in particular. Just looking at pictures of Shibe puppies, keeping up with Kanye . . . You know, the usual.” Dan smiles, dimples caving into his cheeks for the first time since they left the house. He may not be in control anymore, and that's terrifying, but a small part of him is curious to see where the day will take him. The thought is sending adrenaline rushing through him, and he finds himself able to give Phil a genuine grin. Maybe things won't have to be so horrible today, after all. “What about you? Have you found any interesting porn sites recently? I know you watch it, you can't pretend like you don't when I've lived with you for six years.” Dan laughs, eagerly awaiting Phil's response, wondering how his typically soft-spoken friend will react to the unexpectedly invasive question.

 

Phil raises his eyebrows at the question, mulling it over in his thoughts. “Actually… I haven’t been watching so much lately.” he replies honestly. “I’ve been doing some more reading lately, though.” Now that part isn’t strictly as true, but he knows that it’ll get Dan’s mind whirling, and it serves the brunette right after such an intruding question. He decides he needs to get back at Dan a little more and he clicks the button after a short pause, keeping it on a low setting, but turning it on and watching the small flinch Dan gives before straightening out his expression. Phil hides his grin and keeps his eyes wide, portraying nothing less than the picture of innocence. The waitress comes by moments later and Phil orders his burger, continuing on to order for Dan without even giving the man a chance to speak up for himself. He hands her the menus and smiles over at Dan, knowing he ordered what Dan wanted, but also knowing that the brunette would  _ hate _ being spoken for like that. He doesn’t know what came over him, but right now he wants to mess with Dan, and he’s relishing in it as he bumps up the intensity to three out of the ten notches he knows it can go up to.

 

Dan blinks at the honest answer, but before he can react the vibrator is buzzing to life once again. This time, it's on a low setting, and Dan only winces for a moment before his expression smooths out. When the waitress comes up to their table and Phil orders for him, though, the brunette arches his eyebrows. Indignation clearly etched onto his face, Dan opens his mouth to tell Phil off. All that comes out is a surprised gasp, though, and the younger man shivers as a jolt of electricity runs down his spine. Straightening up, Dan clears his throat, fighting the blush threatening to rise in his cheeks. “Tell me about this reading you've been doing.” Forcing a smirk, Dan takes a sip of his water in an effort to cool himself down, giving Phil the most confident look he can muster.

 

Phil grins, this time looking for a reaction and noticing everything as Dan gasps and shudders as he clicks the dial. He’s surprised when he finds himself feeling a rush from it, his heart beating a little faster in his chest. “Oh, nothing really.” he answers lazily. “You know, it started out as research, but then I realized some of our fans have real talent. I suppose I just realized it was a part of our viewers that I haven’t really ever recognized or appreciated and I don’t think that’s fair since they put in so much time and effort into their stories.” Phil grins as he sees Dan’s eyes bug out at the ‘admission’ that he reads porn about them. It’s not that he hasn’t - but he doesn’t exactly make a habit of it the way he’s making it sound right now. “And really…” he continues, shifting the vibration up to a four in his pocket and smiling as he sees Dan jump a little, nudging it over one more to a five. “It can be pretty hot sometimes.”

 

The combination of the vibrations increasing and Phil discussing his habits while getting off is making Dan’s mind hazy. Despite the pleasure spiking through him, the brown eyed man straightens in his seat, giving Phil a challenging look. “You jerk off to stories about us?” He questions, eyebrows pulling together. His voice is taunting, chocolate eyes glimmering in barely-concealed amusement. The feeling of the vibrator pressing up against his prostate is slowly driving him crazy, and he blames his next words on the sensation. “So, what stuff do you like to read? I can't imagine you'd be very into some of the fics out there. Enlighten me.”

 

Phil grins at Dan’s request, laughing to himself internally. If only Dan knew that Phil was entirely aware of his current situation. So when Dan gets turned on he starts asking Phil about his wank habits? Interesting information to tuck away for the future… Phil hums in thought as he strokes his chin where a beard would be if he ever decided to grow one. “You know… I really do like some of the fluffy ones. They’re really sweet. I don’t usually go looking for smut, sometimes it just happens and I’m like ‘oh… alright.’. I suppose my favorites, though, would be some of the ones where it’s told from your point of view. And not the weird kinky dom/sub ones. I don’t know… I suppose I just like…” Phil lets the edge of his lip quirk up in a small smirk as he bumps the dial up to seven. “Seeing things from a different perspective.” he finishes, looking Dan straight in the eye. “I figure that with all the analysis our fans have done of us, maybe I can learn a bit more about you from some of them…” Phil knows what he’s saying could have dramatic implications, but if that’s where Dan’s mind chooses to go that’s on him, not Phil. He’s honestly surprised at how much of a buzz he’s getting off of teasing Dan. He’s always thought that Dan was attractive, sure, but there’s never been anything between the two of them. Now, though, being able to make him squirm with just the shift of a finger, Phil’s finding himself feeling almost high off the power, and he can’t help but start to stare at Dan a little more hungrily as his fingers pad over the dials contemplatively.

 

Dan finds himself flushing under Phil's steady gaze, struggling to come up with a sarcastic reply. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth, and he takes another gulp of water, trying to hide the noises threatening to escape his throat. The vibrations are even more intense now, and Dan is finding it harder and harder to focus, thoughts going foggy as the vibrator pulses against his prostate. He swallows his water, letting out a shaky breath. His hand is trembling, and he grips at his napkin, determined to keep his friend oblivious to what's happening. Dan offers Phil a smirk, but it comes out as more of a half-hearted smile, and anything clever he might have to say seems to die in his throat. “I- Um, when do you think our food will be ready?” 

 

“Oh I dunno… we’re the only ones here…” Phil switches the setting from pulses to heavy vibrations. “It shouldn’t take  _ too  _ long.” Phil smiles at Dan, keeping his eyes wide and innocent. “Are you sure you’re okay, Dan? Do you need anything?” he reaches across the table to take Dan’s hand, something he wouldn’t usually do, but there’s no one here to see and he’s honestly loving the power he has to mess with his best friend right now. “So…” Phil muses, taking a long sip of his drink as he plays with the intensity dial, moving it down to a five and then up to a ten and back, making this path several times before finally settling on a solid seven. “I told you what kind of fanfiction I’ve read… what about you?” he asks dangerously, smirking but keeping his eyes wide and innocent. 

 

Dan jumps, squeaking in surprise when he feels the setting change, the vibrator now buzzing so forcefully it's almost audible. The intensity level drops, and for a heartbeat Dan lets himself relax, but then it's rapidly increasing once more. The unexpected feeling has Dan crying out, and he quickly slaps a hand over his mouth, chocolate eyes wide. “You know what? I think I might actually be coming down with something. I'm just gonna head to the toilet.” The brunette gets to his feet in a rush, the object pressing against his prostate getting jostled in the process, only succeeding in wedging itself against the sensitive bundle of nerves more firmly. Dan freezes for a moment, going rigid and trying to hide the shiver that runs down his spine. Giving Phil one last look, face a deep red color, Dan hurries to the restaurant bathroom. It's borderline painful to walk now, but he needs to get away from his friend's watchful gaze, if only for a few moments. Breathing heavily, he stumbles into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. 

 

Phil nearly giggles at the sounds Dan makes, eyes going wide as he feels a pang in his abdomen. This draws him up short, sitting up straighter as he forces the feeling away, wondering where the hell it came from. When Dan excuses himself he smiles, wanting to shout out a, ‘You need some help in there?’, but deciding that’d be too obvious. Instead he just sits on his hands, deciding to leave the toy where it is as Dan gets himself together in the bathroom, his mind working furiously at why Dan’s sudden desperation had affected him.

 

Dan wants to cry in frustration. He's hard to the point of it being painful, erection cruelly confined in his jeans. For a moment, he debates just taking the vibrator out or getting off in the bathroom. Dan sighs, leaning up against the locked bathroom door as he runs a hand over his face. He doesn't have anywhere to put the vibrator, and Phil will notice if he's gone for too long. Plus, a small part of him is enjoying this experience. It's not often that Dan isn't in control of a situation, and although it's definitely pushing his comfort zone, the thought makes him shudder. After a moment, he decides to simply splash some water on his face and take a moment to cool down before heading outside once more. Dan glances at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, biting at his lower lip when he sees the obvious blush tinting his cheeks and takes note of the sweat beginning to bead on his forehead. Finally, he does his best to fix his hair and tuck his erection under the waistband of his trousers before pulling open the bathroom door. He walks over to Phil as quickly as possible, not wanting anyone at the restaurant to notice his slightly awkward stride. 

 

Phil is surprised when Dan comes back only moments later - having expected him to take longer as he took care of his problem. When Dan re-emerges, though, and returns to their booth, it’s clear that he hasn’t ‘taken care’ of anything. Phil raises his eyebrows at this knowledge and decides Dan deserves some mercy, reaching into his pocket and subtly turning the dial down to two, giving his friend some time to rest. For a moment, he begins to question all of this. Why on earth has Phil so willingly accepted his role in controlling Dan in such an intimate way? Why is he enjoying this so much? Why does the fact that Dan keeps biting his lip as he squirms, sweat making his hair curl, make Phil just want to push him farther? Why is all this so goddamn  _ hot? _ Phil does his best to shake this off, smiling as their food arrives and tucking into his burger, moaning erotically around the food in his mouth. “This is so good.” he groans, exaggerating because even though it doesn’t make sense, he’s  _ loving  _ the control he has over Dan, and the choked noises his friend is making are giving Phil a high he hasn’t experienced in years.

 

_ Are you fucking kidding me, Phil?  _ Dan wants to smack the idiotic smirk off of his friend’s face, wants to reach forward and  _ make  _ Phil stop teasing him with the ridiculous noises he's producing. Is the other man even aware of what he's doing to Dan? If he was, surely he wouldn't be sitting across from him, jaw slack as he moans around a mouthful of his food. Dan sighs in resignation, unsure of what else to do. The vibrations have slowed, dropping to a faint, pleasant buzzing. It's still making the brown eyed man squirm in his seat, but at least he has the ability to talk to Phil in complete sentences now. “Continuing the topic of fanfic, I actually spend quite a bit of time reading it. Some of the smut’s really well-written.” Dan comments, voice even and expression calm as he takes a bite of his lunch, making sure to groan a bit too loudly around the warm food.

 

“Oh, yeah?” Phil asks, his voice coming out a bit higher than he’d meant to. Frustrated at his embarrassment, Phil decides to distract Dan so he can’t be teased, reaching down and raising the intensity of the vibrator he knows is up his friend’s ass to a five, beginning to swing his legs and not-so-unintentionally bumping Dan’s leg with his foot. “Yeah… I really like reading some of it, actually.” he decides to go all in, smirking at Dan. “You know… they get me wrong usually.” he comments, looking away from Dan but bumping him with his foot as he takes a bite of his burger, moaning as he tries to hide his chuckle at the huge implication he’s just made to his insanely turned-on friend. 

 

“Phil, I'm not stupid. I've seen your browsing history.” Dan grins, drawing his leg back and watching as Phil winces when he kicks the table instead. “Like hell if you're some weird dom.” The brunette snorts, rolling his eyes even as the vibrations increase. The vibrator is completely against his prostate now, and suddenly everything becomes real to Dan. He's sitting three feet away from his best friend, a sex toy up his ass as he tries to hide that fact from Phil. Somehow, that thought isn't entirely unappealing.

 

“Actually shut up!” Phil laughs, wide eyed as he kicks Dan under the table, jerking the intensity up to a ten and switching it to pulsing, wanting to get Dan back. He bites his lip as he stares his friend in the eye, letting his lower lip slowly slide out from beneath his teeth, gazing hungrily at his friend. He feels his abdomen tighten at the surprised noises that escape from deep in Dan’s throat as the toy responds to the commands Phil gave it inside of his friend, springing to life and making Dan go stiff and jolt a bit. Phil lets out a soft moan in response, trying to cover it by shoving a fry in his mouth, but he only has eyes for the man across from him and nearly misses his mouth entirely in the rush. 

 

Dan moans, the noise far too loud for a restaurant. He falls forward, barely managing to catch himself on the table in front of him and nearly knocking over his glass of water in the process. Eyes fluttering shut, Dan bites his tongue, desperately trying to gather his willpower and remain silent. After a moment, he's able to raise his head just enough to gaze at Phil, lips parted slightly and brown hair tousled. His hips are shifting upwards, automatically searching for friction but finding nothing. Hissing out a soft, desperate breath, Dan straightens up, giving his friend an unreadable look. There's no way Phil hadn't noticed  _ that,  _ and the younger man swallows nervously, silently praying that his friend won't mention it. His body is still shifting anxiously, trying to find something that he can't give it right now, and heat is beginning to pool in his stomach.

 

Phil bites his lip hard as Dan collapses forward, his eyes blazing with want. He’ll admit it, of course he’s thought of Dan in a not-so-platonic way before, but he never let his mind wander too far with that thought - deeming it dangerous. Now, though, Phil can't give a shit about what’s safe as his eyes bore holes in Dan’s flesh, imagining how it’d feel to be wrapped up in his arms. He reaches an arm out and takes Dan’s hand in his, playing his thumbs between Dan’s fingers. “Are you alright?” he asks lowly, meeting Dan’s gaze with his own and licking his lip hungrily. “Do you want me to do anything for you?” he doesn’t necessarily mean to imply anything sexual, but he couldn’t care less, at this point not even remembering why he is supposed to be keeping his knowledge of the situation a secret.

 

“N-No, I'm okay.” Dan stammers, mind whirling as he tries to think of an appropriate response. In all honestly, he's anything but okay. His thoughts are hazy, his vision blurring at the edges as he tries to hold himself together, and his hips are beginning to buck involuntarily. Phil's fingers are tracing over the back of his hand, and Dan whimpers, his entire body trembling. Somewhere in the back of his mind a voice is telling him that this is wrong, but he promptly buries that thought. Phil is right in front of him, and he's been desperate for so long. Dan's eyes fall shut once more as the heat coiling in his stomach builds before releasing, a flood of white-hot pleasure washing over him. Dan whines as he comes, the sticky substance seeping through his boxers. He melts into his seat, a deep satisfaction settling inside of him. The vibrator is still buzzing against his prostate, and the overstimulation is borderline painful, but Dan finds himself enjoying it. Suddenly, he remembers the man sitting across from him. Mocha eyes wide, he gazes at Phil, hurriedly pulling his hand away from his friend.

 

Phil surprises himself as a low growl builds deep in his chest, escaping without his permission. He takes a mental picture as he watches Dan come completely untouched, and he can’t help but feel a bit proud of himself. Now, though, he knows that Dan must be completely overstimulated and he subtly shifts the vibrator down to a low, buzzing two, giving Dan a moment to rest, but wanting to build him back up. “Hey…” Phil whispers, trying to be gentle as he raises a hand to carefully brush Dan’s fringe out of his face, letting his hand linger on Dan’s cheek for a moment before taking it back. “I think maybe we should get back to the flat. You don’t seem to be feeling so great.” Phil knows that this is the exact opposite of how Dan’s feeling right now, but he calls a taxi service and soon he’s leaving money on the table and wrapping his arm around his friend’s waist as he leads him out to a waiting cab. He opens the door for Dan and slips in next to him, sitting close as he turns the intensity back to a four, deciding that Dan’s had his break and now it’s time to build him up again.

 

Dan squirms as the intensity level begins to increase again, groaning softly as he leans his head against the cool glass of the taxi window. Everything feels heightened, and he's overly sensitive to each vibration and shift as they make a turn. The taxi stops for a red light, and Dan can feel the vibrator push farther into him, firmly connecting with his prostate. The brunette shudders, his breath fogging up the glass of the taxi window as he watches his home city pass by, familiar streets and buildings blurring together. He's exhausted, but there's no way he can fall asleep in this situation, and he can already feel arousal pooling in his stomach, his body fighting to react to the pleasure its receiving. Dan crosses his legs, praying that the vibrations will stay at a reasonable level until they get back to their flat.

 

Phil shifts to conceal the hard-on that’s finally getting the better of him, breathing heavily through his mouth at how much Dan is intoxicating him right now. Unconsciously he shifts even closer, pressing his side against Dan’s, an entire half of the back seat remaining unused. Reaching into his pocket, Phil notches the vibrator back up to a six, letting out a weak breath as he sees Dan jolt and relax into the more powerful vibrations. Before he even knows it, one hand is on Dan’s knee and the other is around his friend’s shoulders. The minute he gets there, though, he realizes what he’s done and scrambles for a cover. “Uh… come here.” his voice comes out scratchy as he pulls Dan to his chest, stroking the brunette’s curly hair. “We’ll get you home soon, I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.” Phil dips his head down and rests his face against Dan’s hair, inhaling the scent of his best friend deeply and shifting his hips slightly to better hide his erection.

 

Dan lets his eyes slip shut, caving and allowing Phil to hold him. His face is damp with sweat, and he can feel his clothes sticking to him, but he's too tired to care. Besides, he'll have to save his energy if this continues. The thought makes Dan whimper, and he turns to hide his face against his best friend's shoulder, feeling a wave of gratitude for Phil. He doesn't like appearing weak, but the brown eyed man decides that today can be an exception. The increased vibrations are beginning to make him antsy, but he forces himself to push the feeling down, trying to make himself relax as he breathes in the familiar scent of Phil. The smell doesn't do anything to calm him down, but he's too stubborn to move away, doing his best to hide his current situation from his friend as he melts up against him.

 

When Dan whimpers, Phil can’t help the small whine that escapes his own throat, and he freezes, eyes wide. Dan certainly heard that, and there’s no way of talking himself out of this one. He curses himself silently as his gut constricts, fear taking over his body. What’s he supposed to do now? He just let out a goddamn  _ whine _ at Dan, and now he’s frozen with his best friend in his arms with a vibrator up his ass. How the hell did he let this go so far?

 

Dan's eyes snap open when he hears Phil whine, the sound high-pitched, desperate, and unmistakably  _ turned on.  _ He knows what his best friend sounds like, down to every breathy gasp and whimper. Of course he does - he's lived with Phil for years now, and although he'd never admit it, he's taken to occasionally listening in on the blue eyed man when he gets off. Hearing the noise now, though, with Phil’s mouth inches from his ear and his body pressed against his own, is an entirely different situation. Dan goes rigid, mind blank as he tries to think of how to react. He doesn't want to know what this means for their career, their lives, or their friendship. Mocha eyes closing once more, Dan simply decides to lean back against Phil, not wanting to deal with the scene unravelling right in front of him. He shifts slightly, trying to keep the shock off of his face when his hips brush against Phil’s erection.  _ Why is he hard?  _ The realization makes a flood of arousal crash over Dan, even as confusion is making his mind spin. Sure, it could just be bad timing, but Dan’s never known Phil to get hard over nothing.  _ Could he like me in that way?  _ The younger man shoves the thought away immediately, burying it in the darkest corner of his mind.  _ No. There's no way.  _ Still, he can feel Phil's erection pressing into his hip, and he struggles to keep the smile off of his face.

 

Phil moans fully as Dan brushes against his crotch, abandoning caution to the wind as he lets his head fall to the side, now resting his face against Dan’s neck and shoulder above the neckline of his shirt, lazily moving his lips against the skin there. His brain has abandoned him and he grinds softly against his friend’s hip before pulling away, deciding his only available strategy now is to play it off with confidence. “Danny, I don’t think your problem is quite what you’ve been letting me believe.” he whispers scoldingly, reaching his hand down in his pocket and jacking up the remote to a pulsing ten, biting his lip as he sees Dan’s eyes fly wide in surprise. “I don’t think you’re feeling bad at all… in fact I think you must be feeling quite  _ good _ right now.” Phil grins as he pulls the remote out to show Dan, keeping it out of the brunette’s reach before shoving it back in his pocket. Deep inside Phil is terrified - he knows he’s just made a huge move and it could change the entirety of his life, but he’s currently too hazy in his mind to care, staring at Dan hungrily as he bites his lip, watching as the brunette slowly pieces the puzzle together.

 

“You had the fucking remote?” Dan's voice comes out high-pitched, far too loud for a taxi. He claps a hand over his mouth, taking a deep breath as he tries to calm the sudden emotions threatening to overwhelm him. “I- You absolute, fu-fucking twat!” Dan stammers, struggling to speak through the intense pleasure making his mind hazy. He's panting, sweat making his hair twist into tighter curls as he stares at Phil, mocha eyes unreadable. The pulsing vibrations coupled with the feeling of Phil's mouth brushing over his neck has the brunette writhing in his seat, simultaneously trying to jerk backwards and press himself closer to the other man. “Give it b-back!” Dan hisses, reaching out and trying to grab the remote, but only succeeding in making the vibrator push back against his prostate. He moans, doing his best to cover up the involuntary noise and praying the taxi driver is oblivious to what's going on in the backseat.

 

Phil bites his lip at Dan’s request, looking his friend in the eye. “You know…” he murmurs slowly, holding Dan’s hands with his so his friend can’t try to reach into his pocket and get the remote. “Of course… if you really want me to, I’ll give it back. But I don’t think you do.” Phil raises an eyebrow at his best friend in challenge. “I think you actually love this. I think you get off on me having control over this, and I don’t think you really want it back.” Phil lets go of Dan’s hands, allowing the brunette to reach down and fish the remote from his pocket if he likes. “So go ahead… if you want. Or you can let me keep it, and I can keep making you feel the way you have been since we got off that train.”

 

Dan hates this, and he hates Phil, because  _ of course  _ the other man has to be right.  _ Of course  _ he has to like the risk of the situation, and  _ of course  _ he doesn't make a move to grab the remote, lips pressed together in a thin line as he watches Phil grin. “Wipe that smile off your face, Lester. Just wait until we get back to the apartment.” Dan’s eyes are serious, dark with promise despite the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. The vibrations are driving him insane, and he reaches out without thinking, fingers brushing over one of Phil's nipples through the thin material of his shirt. He pulls at the sensitive nub automatically, rolling it between the pads of his fingers, eyes trained on Phil's face.

 

“‘Wait until we get back to the apartment?’ That’s pretty presumptuous, don’t you thi-” Phil jokes, but he’s cut off in a surprised gasp as Dan’s fingers come up his chest and tweak his nipple through his shirt, staring at his friend in surprise. “Alright, well you want me to wait? At least give me a preview.” Phil whispers, raising his hand to Dan’s cheek and pulling gently, ensuring that it’s okay with his eyes before he presses their lips together gently, realizing immediately that the vibrator is still on and plunging his hand into his pocket, clicking the button to turn off the toy,  then bringing his hand back up to cup the brunette’s cheek. He wants Dan to be focused on this moment between them only, channeling all his feelings that he’s only now realizing he’s been suppressing for years into the soft connection of their lips, hoping that it shows Dan that this isn’t only because he’s turned on, it’s because it’s  _ Dan. _

 

Dan freezes for a moment, heart stuttering in his chest as his mind races to process what's happening. Phil's kissing him.  _ Phil's  _ kissing him. That realization has Dan shifting forward, doubts vanishing in a matter of seconds. Phil's lips are soft against his own, sweet and hesitant despite the heat of the moment, giving Dan the opportunity to pull away. The younger man only deepens the kiss, though, mouth working against Phil's as years of emotions come crashing through in the form of a single action. Eventually, he pulls back just enough to look at the blue eyed man gazing up at him, pupils dilated as his eyes rake down his flustered form. “How's that for a preview? Unfortunately, you're gonna have to pay for the full movie.” Dimples caving into his cheeks, Dan shifts his weight off of Phil, the bright smile stubbornly clinging to his face ruining his joke.

 

“Oh yeah?” Phil asks, eyes sparkling with the challenge. “You sure about that?” he teases as he reaches into his pocket, shifting the vibrator to buzzing and notching it up to a four. “Because I think that I might have  _ you _ begging to pay  _ me _ by the time we’re inside.” Phil lets out a dramatic maniacal laugh, but he smiles at Dan with soft eyes to show him that it’s all just a joke. Soon the taxi is pulling in front of their flat and Phil’s throat tightens with sudden nerves, realizing that this is  _ Dan _ and how big of a deal this is, but for whatever reason it just feels easy. Chalk it up to years of being seen as a couple, who knows, but it feels natural and now that Phil’s accepted it, he’s nearly overwhelmed by the amount of emotion flooding him that he hadn’t even really been aware of before. “Let’s go?” he asks his friend, handing the cab driver some money and getting out of the cab, offering Dan his hand. He pulls him up and then lets go, half-running the quick trip to their apartment, impatient to get inside and behind closed doors, safe from the prying eyes of the London pavement.

 

“Someone's impatient.” Dan observes, huffing as he tries to keep up with Phil, the vibrator shifting inside of him with every step he takes. The moment they're safely inside their apartment, Dan turns to face Phil, taking a pace towards the blue eyed man and revelling in the slight height advantage he has over him. “You've had that remote since we got off of the train. You've been toying with me for  _ hours,  _ Phil.” The younger man blinks, surprised at his own voice. His tone comes out commanding, heavy with promise and demanding that Phil listens. Dan takes another pace forward, using his body to force his friend backwards. Phil's back hits the wall, and Dan moves quickly, grabbing his wrists and holding him in place, a thrill of adrenaline making a shiver run down his spine. He takes a deep breath, keeping the blue eyed man trapped against the wall but loosening his grip on him slightly. “How far do you want to go?” This time, his voice comes out sounding more like him - expectant and cautious, but not as demanding, giving Phil a way out before it's too late to go back.

 

Phil bites his lip, looking Dan up and down before locking eyes with the slightly taller man and letting his lip release, breathing out heavily. “As far as you’d like. You sure you’re up for it? After… you know… at the diner?” He smirks a bit at the memory, raising a leg to pull Dan forward and against him, pressing their bodies together as he leans forward and presses a gentle kiss on Dan’s jaw. “And hey… to be fair I didn’t actually know what it was or what it did for a while! I wasn’t torturing you intentionally the  _ whole  _ time!” he giggles as he pulls his head back up, smiling up at Dan’s face. “But yes… if you’re up for it… I want to do whatever you want to do.” he whispers, leaning in to connect their lips gently, amazed at the sensation and the new allowance in their relationship and hoping to god it’s not just a one time thing.

 

“Are you sure?” Dan murmurs against Phil's mouth, eyes fluttering shut as he returns the kiss. As if in response, he feels teeth nip at his lower lip, and he allows himself to get lost in the feeling of kissing Phil. After a minute, Dan carefully works his tongue into the blue eyed man’s mouth, gently rolling their hips together as he tests their boundaries. When he doesn't feel Phil pull away, he grinds against him with slightly more force, choking back a moan as his erection drags over the older man’s thigh. “I- We should move this somewhere else. My bedroom?”

 

Phil hums as Dan grinds against him, amazed at how wonderful this feels. How natural it feels to be doing this all with Dan. With  _ Dan.  _ He’s doing  _ this _ with  _ Dan. _ At the same time as Dan asks if they should move to his bedroom, Phil’s eyes shoot open and he looks at his best friend and erupts into laughter, curling in on himself and falling to the floor, tumbling out of Dan’s arms as his friend looks down at him in confusion. He’s convulsing on the hardwood floor, cackling so hard he can’t breathe. “Sorry!” he gasps, opening his eyes to look at Dan and trying to keep a straight face, but dissolving into sputtered laughter the moment he meets his best friend’s gaze. It takes him several minutes to stop laughing at which point he has a very confused and annoyed Dan on his hands, but he takes several deep breaths and stands up, pressing a gentle kiss to Dan’s lips while still breathing out shaky and breathy laughter, trying to get himself together. “I’m sorry.” he repeats sincerely. “It’s just… it’s you and me. I just never thought…” he murmurs, the laughter finally leaving him entirely as he moves back in, connecting their lips with more hunger now, all brevity lost as his arms wrap around Dan’s back and under his shirt, digging their nails into the soft flesh there as he hums appreciatively, raising his hips into Dan’s. “Yes. Yes, the bedroom sounds good.”

 

After another, particularly rough grind against Phil, Dan takes a reluctant pace backwards, tugging his friend with him. He stumbles to his bedroom, half dragging and half carrying Phil after him. The moment they're inside, Dan slams his door shut, surprising himself with the power behind the action. His chocolate eyes are dark, pupils blown wide as his heart pounds in his chest.  _ This should be weird.  _ The moment the thought crosses his mind, Dan shoves it down, choosing to focus on the fact that this is  _ Phil.  _ Everything he's ever wanted in someone is standing right in front of him. That realization has Dan moving forward, capturing Phil's lips in his own once more as their mouths move in sync. Caught up in the intoxicating taste of Phil, Dan feels himself running his tongue along the blue eyed man’s lower lip, nipping at the soft skin there. He tastes like coffee, raspberries, and something distinctly  _ Phil,  _ and Dan believes it must be the most wonderful thing in the world.

 

Phil smiles into the kiss, walking backwards and pulling Dan with him until he hits the edge of the bed, allowing himself to fall back against the mattress with Dan on top of him. His eyes widen as he feels something fall out of his pocket and he reaches down quickly to grab the remote from the top of the duvet, holding it in his hand as he wraps his arms around Dan’s neck, pulling them up on the bed so they’re lying lengthwise, Phil’s head resting against the pillow as he grins evilly, jacking the intensity up to an eight as he thrusts hard into Dan’s hips, biting at the brunette’s lower lip and pulling slightly, opening his eyes to grin at Dan with his lip still within Phil’s teeth, eyes dark with danger and excitement. He has no idea why or where this sudden deep seated  _ need _ for his best friend came from, but suddenly Phil is certain that he’s never wanted anything or anyone more, and even though he’s in the heat of the moment now, he’s pretty sure this feeling is here to stay. So without a second thought Phil reaches down and looks up at Dan once for confirmation before smiling and tugging Dan’s shirt over his head. He brings the vibrator back down to a resting five and smiles up at the sweaty brunette, biting his lip. How is Dan Howell so goddamn beautiful and how hasn’t he noticed it fully until now? How hasn’t he noticed how much he wants to kiss those soft lips? How much he wants to press his mouth deep into that dimple? How he wants to suck at that neck and graze over those eyelashes, to tug that hair and kiss that little rosy patch by his freckle? How much he wants that chest on his, those hands on his body. How much he wants Dan, and  _ all  _ of Dan all over him on the inside and out, for as long as the beautiful creature over him will allow.

 

The way Phil is looking at him is making shivers run down Dan’s spine. His best friend's blue eyes are trailing down his body, and the cerulean pools seem to be taking in his every feature. When Dan kisses Phil again he feels the other man smile against his lips. He feels wanted _.  _ More than that, Dan feels  _ needed,  _ something that's been missing from his life for far too long. Sweat is making his hair stick to his forehead, and the brown strands are frizzing and twisting into tighter curls, but Dan doesn't have it in him to care. For once, he allows himself to abandon his doubt concerning his body, simply revelling in the way Phil's staring at him as he rocks their hips together again. Dan's hands are fumbling with the hem of Phil’s shirt, fingers brushing against soft skin as they slide under the material. For a moment, the brunette pauses, meeting his friend’s gaze. When he finds nothing but desperation there, Dan pulls Phil's shirt off, dropping his head to suck a mark just below the blue eyed man’s exposed collarbone. 

 

When Dan pulls Phil’s shirt off and swoops down to his chest Phil lets himself still for a moment, gasping as he stares at the ceiling, dialing the toy in Dan down to a two. He wants Dan’s pleasure to come from  _ him _ . Rocking his hips gently up into Dan’s, but slower now, Phil gently cups the brunette’s cheeks between his palms and brings his face up to meet Phil’s, blue eyes gazing into brown. Phil slows his hips and clicks off the vibrator for a second, all sounds disappearing except for both men’s heavy breathing as they stare at each other. Slowly, gently, Phil leans in and captures Dan’s lips within his own, putting all the emotion he’s suddenly feeling into this one slow kiss, pulling back and smiling shyly up to the man he’d only viewed as his best friend until today. But Phil knows this emotion couldn’t have come from nowhere. He knows he’s a master at avoidance and denial, and the wave of feelings that has hit him make it clear that he’s cared for Dan for a long time. Looking at the golden flecks in Dan’s eyes, his own flitting from one to the other to try to capture all the beauty they hold, Phil feels his lip twitch up into a nervous half smile as he brings his hands down to Dan’s chest and then over his collarbones and shoulders. “This…” Phil clears his throat when his voice comes out high and nervous. “This isn’t… just because you’re turned on… right? It’s not just…” Phil can feel his face heating up, realizing midway through his mini-speech that he may be about to fuck this all up, but not being able to turn back now. “I’m not just a hook up?” he asks with desperate nervousness, looking into Dan’s eyes needily, searching for reassurance.

 

It takes Dan a moment to process Phil's question, his mind hazy with desire for the man beneath him. Once Phil's words register in his brain, though, Dan slows his movements. His kisses switch from heated and rough to gentle, and after a few seconds the brunette finally pulls back. He doesn't move far, shifting backwards just enough to be able to take in Phil's worried expression. “No. God, no. Phil, you could never be just that to me. We can stop if you want. If we're in this, we're in this together.” Dan bites his lower lip, wondering if his last sentence was too much of a leap. Still, Phil deserves to hear it, to know that he has Dan's support no matter what his decision is.

 

“No!” Phil interjects immediately. “No I mean… I don’t want to stop.” He laughs breathily as he leans up, pressing a soft kiss to Dan’s lips. “I don’t think I ever want to stop.” Phil feels as if he’s in a trance and he knows he may be being presumptuous, and maybe he shouldn’t be so forthcoming with how far gone he is for Dan right now, but he can’t seem to control himself and the smile he gets in return makes it all worth it. Pulling Dan down gently by the back of his neck, Phil reconnects their lips, rolling softly and working his tongue in gently. He nips and bites at Dan’s soft and plump lips, bringing his hands to the brunette’s exposed back, scratching long stripes there with his nails as he begins to rock his hips once again. Reaching to the remote to turn it back on to a pulsing four this time, Phil grins against Dan’s mouth, feeling his hips stutter and takes this as a sign to pick the pace up again, rolling faster now, moving his lips to Dan’s neck to suck several dark bruises there, working the skin between his lips and teeth, sucking hard as his fingers scratch dark red lines along the brunette’s back. 

 

Dan wants to ask Phil if he's sure, but his actions are making his response more than clear, and Dan doesn't have the breath to form words. His erection is pressing against the zip of his jeans, and it's borderline painful now. Dan groans, rutting up into Phil with more force. “I- I need these off.” His voice is low and choked, desperation clear in his tone. He fumbles with the buttons on his jeans, struggling to pull off the tight article of clothing. Eventually, he manages to tug them down his legs, tossing them into some forgotten corner as he moves to help Phil out of his jeans. He can hear his heart beating in his ears, adrenaline coursing through him as he fingers brush over the bulge in his best friend's pants.

 

Phil bites his lip and closes his eyes as Dan’s hand brushes over his jeans before his pianist’s fingers make quick work of Phil’s button and soon are working at the zipper and then tugging off the pesky trousers. “Holy shit, Dan.” Phil gasps, not even caring about the swear. “Dan… Dan oh my god. We’re doing this. We’re actually doing this.” Phil breathes out in amazement, laughing breathily as he pulls Dan back up, capturing his cheeks with his hands as he pulls him in for a kiss. For a few moments they just kiss, only the sound of their breathing reaching Phil’s ears. That is, until he begins to recognize the sound of the vibrator still pulsing inside of Dan and suddenly he’s filled with a lustful hunger, pulling Dan in even closer and biting the brunette’s lip, thrusting up into him, eyes flying wide at the new sensation separated only by the paper thin boxers between them. Moaning into Dan’s mouth Phil continues to press up into him, pulling his head back and smiling dangerously at the man over him. “You know… I’m starting to get a little jealous.” When Dan cocks his head at Phil in confusion, Phil just pulls him down to whisper hot breath in his ear, continuing to thrust up into the barely concealed erection hidden behind Dan’s boxers. “You have that toy… now I want  _ you. _ ” Phil breathes, smiling as he pulls back, laying on the bed submissively under Dan, spreading his arms wide and flattening against the mattress as he leaves himself open for Dan to do what he wants with.

 

Dan leans over Phil, reaching out to stop the vibrations, but leaving the remote in the other man's hands. Lips parted and jaw slack, the younger man's eyes flutter shut as he grinds against the person he's been pining after for years. Their erections are only separated by the thin material of their boxers now, and Dan moans at the sensation. Somehow, Phil makes everything better than he could have ever imagined. “You can have me.” He promises, leaning his forehead against Phil's as their bodies roll together, sharp exhalations falling out of his mouth with every movement. “What do you want to do?” The question comes out breathy, slurred and unclear, and Dan prays that Phil understood him.

 

“Dan.” Phil says blankly, pausing and looking up at the man above him, raising his eyebrows as if to say ‘Really?’. “I just told you I’m jealous of you having a fake dick up your ass and that I want  _ you, _ and you’re not sure what it is I want to do?” Phil chuckles softly as he gently raises his hips to Dan’s, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I guess I have to spell it out for you then.” He moves and kisses the other side of Dan’s mouth, his lips twitched up in a smile. “Daniel,” a kiss to the temple, “James,” a kiss between his eyebrows, “Howell,” a kiss to his nose. “Pretty please will you get the fuck inside of me?” Phil laughs at Dan’s blush as it creeps up his neck and onto his cheeks, finally leaning in and connecting their lips, laughing into his soft mouth.

 

“Your wish is my command.” Dan laughs even as he kisses Phil back, shifting downwards to suck a bruise into the pale skin at the base of the older man’s neck. Phil is bucking up into him, and he's returning the gesture, grinding down forcefully, but it's not enough. He needs  _ more.  _ He needs to see himself inside of Phil, claiming the other man as his own as blue eyes gaze up at him. Groaning, Dan reaches down, his fingers playing with the waistband of Phil's boxers. After a moment, he decides to stop teasing him, sliding his boxers off and crawling into the space between Phil's legs. Dan pushes the blue eyed man's thighs apart, shedding his own boxers and hovering over his best friend. Can he even call Phil that anymore? Are they something more now? No. They won't lose their friendship, regardless of what else they may or may not become. That realization makes Dan smile, and he leans down to press a quick kiss to Phil's mouth before reaching towards his bedside table in search of lube.

 

Phil bites his lip as he looks up at Dan over him, warmth taking over the lust that’s been plastered on his features. Smiling gently with his lip still between his teeth, Phil waits until Dan’s back from retrieving the bottle and reaches up, gently moving some of the matted hair off from where it’s stuck to the brunette’s forehead with sweat. “You’re so beautiful.” he whispers softly, pulling Dan down for a gentle kiss, his hands coming to the back of Dan’s neck, his thumbs gently hovering over his ears as he gently cups this man’s gorgeous face, moving their lips together softly. When he pulls back, eyes wide, staring directly into the warm brown ones just inches away, Phil gulps. His adam’s apple bobs up and down and his throat feels tight, but the words manage to escape his throat anyways in a breathy whisper. “I’m yours, Dan. All yours.”

 

Dan's eyes flutter shut as he leaves a delicate, reassuring kiss on Phil's forehead. “I know. I'm yours, too.” For a moment, they stay like that, foreheads pressed together as they breathe. Phil smells like raspberries, coffee, and sweat, blue eyes wide with utter desire as he gazes up at Dan. The younger man swallows hard as he takes in the sight, inhaling the intoxicating scent. Pressing one last kiss to Phil's mouth, Dan pulls back. His hands shake as he uncaps the bottle of lube, fingers trembling slightly as the severity of the situation finally dawns on him. He's about to have sex with Phil. With  _ his Phil.  _ Suddenly feeling the need to move more slowly, Dan leans down to kiss at Phil's thighs. His teeth just barely grazing the soft skin there, Dan sucks a faint mark onto Phil’s lower thigh, smiling as he hears the older man’s breath catch.

 

Phil sucks in a sharp breath at the feeling of Dan’s mouth on his thighs, wet and warm and soft as his hands massage Phil’s sides. After a few seconds, though, Phil yanks Dan back up to his face, kissing him roughly. He smiles into the kiss and softens it, but suddenly his mind is screaming at him. This could truly ruin their friendship. It could ruin everything. It could ruin their entire lives. He knows he wants this - he wants this so much it’s scaring him… but they can’t do this if it’s going to mess everything up. Because he knows that if they take this step… there’ll be no turning back for him. He’ll never be able to go back to ‘normal’. So Phil pulls back and looks Dan in the eye, biting his lip as he draws in a deep breath and the courage he needs to ask the question that will change everything. “Dan…” he whispers, the noise getting caught in his throat and he coughs to free the sound. “Dan… I don’t want this to mean nothing. I don’t want to do this and then go back to normal. This… Sex… it means a lot to me. And… I don’t want to do it with someone who’s not my boyfriend.” Phil draws in a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut and then opening them, looking Dan straight in the eyes with as much confidence as he can, knowing that nothing will be the same after he gets this out. “Dan… I want to do this with you. I want to do everything with you… but only if you want what I want too…” Phil looks up at Dan with hope in his eyes, biting his lip as he prepares for rejection and the end of an era between the two, because he doesn’t think he can go back to ‘just friends’ after this.

 

“Phil,” Dan wants to laugh, but the blue eyes gazing up at him are hesitant and vulnerable, and the brunette finds himself hurrying to reassuring him, “Phil, I'll be your boyfriend. If you'll have me, that is. You'd have to deal with failed laundry attempts and existential crises, but if you want me, I'm here. I've always been here.” Dan gives the man beneath him the most gentle smile he can manage, and the kiss he gives Phil melts into something softer, more intimate than anything before it. He allows himself to relax into the gentle movements of Phil's mouth against his, his chest tightening with emotions he doesn't dare give names to. “I'm all in, okay? Not just for this, for everything.” 

 

Phil’s heart leaps up and gets caught in his throat at Dan’s words, nodding fiercely as tears make his eyes go misty. Suddenly his entire world has been turned upside down and the realization that he’s going to have someone to spend the rest of his life with - someone to marry and grow old with - makes him stop all their movements and just hug Dan close, squeezing as hard as he can. Because he knows. He just knows that they’re going to last. Finally he pulls back and kisses Dan softly, shaking his head and grinning through his tears. “Dan, I’ve been dealing with your useless laundry attempts, existential crises, and stubborn attitude for eight years. I think I can deal.” he giggles, but the sound is choked off by tears as he pulls Dan down for a kiss. “I’m in too. For everything.” Phil smiles, and then shakes his head, laughing at himself and lifting a hand to wipe his tears. “Alright! Let’s get back to business, enough sappy stuff! Too much crying, not enough sex!” Phil laughs as he kisses Dan gently, carefully taking the bottle of lube from where it’s fallen on the bed and lifting it up to place it in Dan’s hand, smiling into the brunette’s lips.

 

“Hey, no crying.” Dan murmurs, but he's near tears himself, mocha eyes watering as he smiles against Phil’s mouth. Eventually, he breaks their kiss, scooting backwards and kneeling between Phil’s spread legs. He meets his boyfriend’s eyes, surprised when that title doesn't drown his thoughts in a tide of panic. It feels right, as if it belongs with the blue eyed man. When Phil gives him a small nod, Dan drizzles lube onto three of his fingers, taking a deep breath before slipping his index finger inside of Phil. It's barely a stretch, but Dan moves slowly, anxiously watching Phil’s face for any signs of pain.

 

Phil tenses as he feels Dan’s finger push inside of him but quickly forces himself to relax, knowing it’ll make this all more enjoyable and help him with any pain. He sees the immediate terror on Dan’s face and smiles up at him, raising a hand to gently brush some of Dan’s hair behind his ear. “I’m okay.” he promises, nodding encouragingly at Dan. He closes his eyes and lets his head fall back as Dan continues to move and Phil finally feels himself relaxing, the sensation becoming more comfortable and he begins rocking his hips back against Dan’s hand. “Alright…” he breaths, biting his lip. “I can do another.” he whispers, smiling up at his boyfriend. His  _ boyfriend. _ Phil can’t believe that that’s what he gets to call Dan now… and when a second finger slips in he barely notices, looking up in  _ his boyfriend’s _ eyes, beaming.

 

Dan lets himself relax, the nerves making his stomach churn fading back into warm arousal as he stretches Phil. He's still being overly-careful, dragging his two fingers in and out of him at an agonizingly slow pace, but now he's testing his boundaries, moving his fingers and deliberately brushing them over Phil's walls. Dan scissors his fingers, gently pushing them in deeper and crooking them slightly, searching for the spot inside of Phil that he knows will help distract his boyfriend from the stretch.

 

Phil whimpers slightly at the pressure moving in and out of him. He looks up at the concentration on Dan’s face and frowns for a second, then has an idea and smiles, reaching around on the duvet until his fingers come into contact with what he’s been looking for. Grabbing the remote in his hand he turns it around to face the right way and smiles, pressing the button to turn it on, setting it to a gentle vibrate on four. He smiles as Dan jumps a bit and pulls him down, connecting their lips. “You think you can last?” he asks, a glint of challenge in his eyes as he smirks at Dan and ruts himself down on the brunette’s fingers, humming at the sensation.

 

Dan sucks in a sharp breath as he feels the vibrator buzz to life inside of him. He had forgotten about its presence, too caught up in admiring his boyfriend and trying to make him feel good. Shaking his head slightly, Dan leans down to kiss Phil. His tongue brushes over the blue eyed man's lips, his teeth tugging at the soft skin for a moment. After a moment, he pulls back, his attention going back to the two fingers he still has inside of his boyfriend. Sudden confidence making heat flood through him, Dan presses his fingers farther inside of Phil, his fingertips dragging down his walls in search of his prostate. The brunette can tell when he's found it. Phil's back arches off of the bed, and a desperate, breathy whine falls from his mouth. The sound makes Dan smile, and the brunette uses Phil's distraction to slip a third finger in beside his other two.

 

Phil bites his lip, moaning as Dan adds a third finger, pressing in and out and brushing against his prostate every few thrusts. Warmth is flooding his body in waves and he rocks onto Dan’s fingers, whimpering needily as he somehow finds it in his clumsy self to notch the vibrator up to a six. “Holy shit, Dan.” Phil breathes, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head back against the pillow. “That feels so good.” he encourages, leaving the remote on the duvet beside him and bringing his hands up to tangle in Dan’s hair, pulling gently and scraping at the scalp below the hair at the nape of his neck.

 

Dan whimpers, trying to keep his hold on Phil's hip gentle as his body automatically reacts to the feeling of the vibrations growing stronger. Fighting the urge to grind against the duvet, Dan spends another minute moving his fingers inside of Phil, waiting until his boyfriend feels completely relaxed before carefully pulling his fingers out. Phil whines at the loss, and Dan is quick to comfort him with a deep kiss, struggling to get the bottle of lube open without moving away from Phil's mouth.

 

Phil smiles into Dan’s lips, pressing hard into the soft flesh. Eventually, though, he pulls back when he realizes just how much Dan’s struggling. “Give me that!” he demands jokingly, snatching the bottle away with a laugh as he uncaps it and shoves it back to Dan. “Now get in here, it’s cold without you.” Phil smirks up at Dan and leans up to kiss him then falls back, watching unashamedly as Dan slicks himself up, smiling as he switches the vibrator to pulsing, watching Dan’s physical reaction and moving his legs even wider, showing Dan just how ready he is for him.

 

Dan shivers, an electric jolt running down his spine at the sudden change in vibrations. The brunette reaches for the remote, his hand curling over Phil's as he turns it off. “I . . . I want to feel you.  _ Just  _ you.” He mumbles, his face burning at the quiet confession. Dan lets out a shaky breath, grateful when his hands stop trembling. He presses the head of his cock to Phil's entrance, teasing around his rim before pushing in. He moves slowly, resisting the urge to bottom out immediately. Phil is warm and tight around him, and Dan makes a noise deep in his chest at the feeling of being completely enveloped in the velvety heat. 

 

Phil flushes at Dan’s admittance, shoving the remote away as he nods. When Dan pushes in he bites his lip, but he doesn’t close his eyes and keeps his gaze on Dan’s, smiling gently in reassurance and encouragement, nodding softly at his boyfriend. “It’s okay. I’m okay.” he promises, pressing lightly against Dan, relishing in the heat rising in him. Phil brings his hands up Dan’s sides and rests them on his love handles, squeezing lightly and massaging his sides, amazed at the smoothness of his skin. His gaze travels to his chest, admiring the scattered freckles and beauty spots. “You really are gorgeous.” he whispers, shaking his head fondly as he looks back up to smile at Dan, moving his hips against the brunette. “I can’t quite believe that I got so lucky.”

 

Dan ducks his head, feeling his cheeks heat up at Phil's soft compliments, but not having the breath to reply. He's too caught up in admiring the man beneath him, wondering how he can be saying such things about him when Phil is the most beautiful person he's ever laid eyes on. Dan's hands slide up Phil's sides, tracing patterns into the soft skin there. The older man is rocking his hips back against Dan, a silent encouragement. Biting his lower lip, the brunette’s hands settle on Phil’s soft hips as he slowly begins to move. 

 

Phil tosses his head back as Dan presses in harder, pushing right against his prostate and making his toes curl. He sucks a breath in with a hiss and tightens his grip on Dan’s sides, pulling to keep him from moving for a second, wanting to keep this feeling for a few more moments. He hums appreciatively, forcing his eyes open to look up at Dan, a smile tugging at his lips when he sees just how proud the brunette is. “Right there.” Phil whispers with a gentle nod, pulling Dan farther inside of him before releasing and allowing Dan to begin moving again. Their motions are gentle and slow, and Phil wouldn’t want it any other way. It feels like it’s about  _ them, _ and Phil can look Dan in the eyes as he feels him move against Phil’s walls, filling him perfectly as the black haired man reaches a hand up to gingerly brush a lock of hair back off Dan’s forehead that had stuck there with sweat.

 

Dan does his best to continue thrusting against that spot inside of Phil, leaning into his boyfriend’s touch when he brushes his fingers across his forehead to push aside a few strands of hair. “You're perfect.” He murmurs, the words nearly unrecognizable through the sound of their breathing. Still, Dan hopes that Phil heard him. The blue eyed man deserves to know that, more than anyone else. Everything about him is beautiful, from his milky thighs to the gentle dip of his collarbone to his blue eyes fixed on Dan, flecks of yellow and green swimming in their depths. Dan grips Phil's waist as he picks up the speed slightly, keeping his thrusts as deep as possible. His boyfriend's face is flushed, cheeks tinted a dark pink and black hair tousled. It's the most beautiful thing Dan's ever seen, and the brunette finds himself leaning forward to connect their mouths once more, wanting to be even closer to the other man.

 

Phil smiles against Dan’s lips, wrapping his arms around the younger man’s back and pulling him close so their chests touch, hugging tightly as Dan continues to move in and out of him. The new angle helps Dan shift to just the right spot and suddenly he’s hitting Phil’s prostate with every thrust and Phil moans gently against Dan’s mouth, biting his lower lip and tugging softly. “Mmmm yes, right there.” he breathes, using his arms around Dan to guide his motions, pulling him up and then releasing him, grinding down against him to get him as deep as possible. His skin is beginning to dampen with a sheen of sweat and so is Dan’s, making their chests stick together and pull each other’s skin as Dan moves up and down his body. Phil shifts from kissing Dan - their movements making it too difficult to keep their lips connected - and buries his face in his boyfriend’s cheek and ear, breathing heavily into the side of Dan’s face as he feels their cheeks pressed together, heat being exchanged as Phil feels wave after wave of pleasure pulse through him at each thrust Dan makes, somehow gentle but sure all at once.

 

Dan groans after a particularly powerful thrust, his breath fanning out across Phil's neck. He bows his head, beginning to kiss at the pale skin of Phil's throat as their bodies roll together. Dan sucks a bruise into the space just above his collarbone, his tongue soothing at the mark. The realization that people will be able to see the bruise he left sends a tide of ecstasy crashing over him, taking his breath away. Everyone who looks at Phil will know that he belongs to  _ Dan.  _ He's Dan’s, just as the brunette belongs to Phil. Smiling at the thought, his lips brushing over Phil’s neck, Dan pushes into his boyfriend again and again, moaning at the sensation of being completely surrounded by Phil's tight heat.

 

“Dan…” Phil breathes, whispering into the soft and damp skin of Dan’s temple right under his hairline. “Dan… I’m close.” Phil’s trying to hold himself together but he know he won’t last much longer - they fit together too well and everything just feels  _ right _ , and honestly he doesn’t want to try to diminish that for himself. Not this time. Not with Dan. He shifts quickly, using his fingers to pull Dan’s chin up, connecting their lips, then moves down to kiss at his jawline and down his neck, sucking soft marks into the skin there, tasting the salt of the sweat beading on his throat as Phil works his tongue across the expanse of flesh, doing his best to bring Dan to where he’s at, not wanting to finish too far ahead.

 

Dan whimpers at the feeling of Phil's mouth on his neck, the added sensation making him pick up the pace, thrusting into Phil’s prostate faster. Heat is coiling in his stomach, and Dan knows that we won't be able to last much longer. “Me too.” The words come out desperate and breathy. Dan tilts his head to kiss Phil once more as he wraps his hand around his boyfriend's cock, fingertips playing with his slit as he pumps him in time with his thrusts. He can feel Phil leaking pre cum, making the motions of his hand slick against his hard length. 

 

Phil gasps quietly as Dan wraps his hand around him and curls up into Dan’s shoulder, overwhelmed suddenly by all the sensations stacking on top of each other. There’s only one he has to focus on, though, as suddenly all the tension leaves his body and he spills out on Dan’s hand, gently mouthing at the point where the brunette’s neck meets his shoulder, kissing gently with his eyes half lidded as he comes. He continues working himself gently down on Dan, trying not to go too pliant under him, still wanting to help his boyfriend finish.

 

The sight of Phil coming over his hand, coupled with the feeling of the blue eyed man clenching around him sends Dan over the edge. The warmth building inside of his body rushes out in a flood of heat as Dan comes inside of Phil, thrusting slowly to ride out his orgasm. They're breathing hard, eyes unfocused as they gaze at each other. For a moment, Dan just admires Phil's dazed expression, knowing that he must look similar. When he pulls out, his cum dribbles down Phil’s thighs, and the sight makes Dan’s breath catch in his throat.

 

Phil feels himself clench around the sudden cold emptiness, squirming a bit as he feels cum drip out of him and onto the duvet. “You’re cleaning that up.” Phil chuckles softly, pulling Dan on top of him and hugging him tight, taking a deep breath and inhaling Dan’s familiar scent mixed with the smell of sex. “You’re warm.” he hums appreciatively, smiling into the skin of Dan’s shoulder. After a few moments of relaxation Phil decides they really should clean off and sits up, gently bringing Dan with him. When the brunette’s face scrunches Phil’s eyes go wide and his mouth drops open. “Oh my god! Dan!” he gasps, hiding laughter behind his hand. “Alright, turn over.” he says lightly, shaking his head at the helpless boy who turns over, ass in the air with a black bump sticking out. Phil chuckles - having completely forgotten about the vibrator until seconds ago. He reaches up and gently slips it out of Dan, leaning down to kiss the small of his back comfortingly. “There we go. I’m gonna go grab some rags, you stay right here.” 

 

Dan lets out a shaky sigh of relief when Phil removes the vibrator, his eyes fluttering shut. He makes a sleepy noise of discontent as the other man leaves, feeling cold in the suddenly too-large bed. “You should be the one staying here.” Dan protests, but Phil's already gone, and exhaustion is pulling at the younger man. Burying his face in the nearest pillow, Dan settles for breathing in the lingering scent of Phil as he waits for his boyfriend to return.  _ I can't believe that happened.  _ For a moment, a flash of panic makes Dan’s chest tighten, but the brunette firmly pushes it away. He knows that things will be fine between them. He won't lose Phil.  _ Hopefully I'll never lose him.  _ Smiling into the soft material of the pillowcase, Dan fights the urge to let himself fall asleep, wanting to be awake when Phil returns.

 

Phil waddles a bit awkwardly to the bathroom, his bum feeling funny. He knows it’ll be sore in the morning, but honestly he couldn’t give a rat’s ass. He feels as if he’s floating as he quickly wets two washcloths with warm water and wrings them out, returning to the bedroom. He sees Dan buried face first in the pillow and slows his pace, sneaking up. When he finally reaches the side of the bed, still undetected, Phil quickly slaps the washcloth down on Dan’s back, the wet towel making a smacking sound as it falls flat across the wide expanse of skin. Phil giggles when Dan jumps, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his forehead. “Sorry.” he whispers, though it’s clear he’s not sorry at all. “Now scoot!” Phil chuckles at Dan’s groan and shoves him over, climbing under the duvet after cleaning himself off. He watches as Dan cleans off and then raises an eyebrow at the brunette, lifting the covers. “You getting under or are you staying up there all night?” Phil giggles, pulling the sleepy boy under the covers with him, tangling their legs together and pulling close, pressing all the most intimate parts of them together in the least sexual way possible. “You’re adorable.” he whispers, kissing Dan softly, and he can’t help but beam at the sleepy smile that spreads across the brunette’s features. He can’t wait to kiss that beautiful smile for the rest of his life.

  
  


* * *

 

 

Dan swears as he opens the door to their washing machine, groaning as he pulls out a pair of white socks, tinted a vibrant salmon color. “Phil!” He calls out, sitting back on his ankles as he digs through the heap of damp clothes, wincing at the bright orange-pink shade most of them have turned. A moment later he hears a pair of footsteps approaching, and he smiles, not having to glance over his shoulder to know that they belong to Phil. His smile falls from his face when he turns his attention back to the disgustingly bright, salmon-colored clothes lumped together in the washing machine. “I told you I would ruin the laundry.” Dan mutters, running a hand through his hair and tugging at the fluffy strands in annoyance.

 

“Dan…” Phil chuckles, shaking his head as he wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, resting his chin on Dan’s shoulder from behind and taking in the mess that is their laundry. “Remind me to never let you wash my clothes again.” he giggles and presses a kiss to Dan’s cheek, then frowns when Dan doesn’t lean into it. Walking around to Dan’s front to look him in the eye, Phil notices that there are tears welling in his boyfriend’s eyes but not spilling over and his jaw drops slightly, quickly pulling Dan into his arms and hugging him tightly, stroking the back of his head. “Shhhhh, shhhhhh. Dan, it’s okay. They’re just socks. It’s alright, okay?” Phil coos as he feels Dan’s arms come around him and tears begin to shake his body. “Hey… it’s okay.” Phil promises. After a few moments he pulls back and looks his boyfriend in the eyes, reaching up to gently wipe the tears from his cheeks. He leans in and presses his lips against Dan’s gently, tasting the salty tears there, then pulling back and kissing his forehead. 

 

Dan sniffles, glancing at his feet in embarrassment as he feels tears slip down his face, splashing against the ground. “Sorry, I don't know why- I'm a mess.” Dan laughs, but the noise comes out choked, sounding more like a sob than anything. Avoiding Phil's worried gaze, the brunette scoops the damp clothes out of the washing machine and into his arms, dumping them in the dryer. His movements are shaky, and Dan leans against the nearest wall, willing his body to stop trembling. “It's just . . . Sometimes I wonder how you can put up with someone like me, I guess.” He admits, raising a hand to his face and roughly wiping at the tears there. “You can do better than some guy who ruins your laundry and drags you down with his existentialism.” Dan’s voice cracks at his confession, and he takes a deep breath, trying and failing to pull himself back together. His sudden sadness is only adding to the points he made.

 

“Dan…” Phil speaks softly, taking the brunette’s hands in his own and forcing his boyfriend to meet his gaze, smiling gently into his warm brown eyes. “I love you. I’m here and I’m always going to be here, I don’t care how many pairs of socks you turn pink. Remember what I said when we first got together? No amount of failed laundry attempts or crises at three in the morning are gonna scare me away. I’m in this for the long haul, okay? You should know that.” Phil pulls Dan close, stepping on his tiptoes to press his lips to Dan’s forehead. “I love you.” he repeats, smiling when Dan finally seems to crack and his lips twitch upwards. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” he chants, peppering kisses all over Dan’s face, refusing to stop until Dan’s a giggling mess in his arms. 

 

“I love you too, you spork.” Dan relents, squirming away as Phil leaves kisses all across his face. Eventually, he calms down enough to meet his boyfriend's gaze. Giving Phil a reassuring smile, Dan leans forward, connecting their mouths in a gentle kiss. Phil’s lips are soft against his own, and Dan sighs into the feeling. They're both smiling into each other's mouths, and the brunette leans into the familiar sensation, knowing that he'll never be able to get enough of it. It's the feeling of home.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> We had some fun trying to think of titles for this fic. Here are some of the things we jotted down (most as jokes):
> 
> “Control” -MB  
> “Phil Lester - the Man to Never Trust With Power” -MB  
> “Shaken, Not Stirred” -MB  
> “What’s this?” -MB  
> “Not REMOTEly funny, Phil.” -MB  
> “Wtf even is this fic’s genre?” -MB  
> “Up yours” -MB  
> “Phil’s secret surprizzzzzZZZZZZZZZ” -MB  
> “Dan Howell and the No Good, Very Bad… Oh wait shit no that actually turned out alright wow.” -MB  
> “vibRATions” -MB  
> “OhoHohOHohoHohOh!” -MB  
> “Some quality time with my buzzfriend” -AN  
> “Good vibrations” - MB  
> “Shaken to the core” -MB  
> “Buzzing to life” -MB  
> “To the pulse of your ass” -MB  
> “Dan get inside me already” “But Phiiiiiiiiil, the romance!” -AN  
> “Make sure to leave your vibrator on the train more often” -AN  
> “‘The idea of two tall men . . .’ -Tyler Oakley” -AN  
> “The top no one saw coming” -AN  
> “Two teenage girls write gay sex together” -AN  
> “Will you be my buzzfriend?” -MB  
> “A bumpy ride” -MB  
> “I regret my life choices” -AN  
> “At least THEY'RE getting some action” -AN  
> “Buzz buzz motherfuckers” -AN


End file.
